No babies sleeping with us in our bed.
Let the baby cry it out.
These two rules (self-imposed somewhere during pregnancy) don’t exist in our house anymore. They were made before we met Marin, before we became parents. Those first days at home, Andy and I would take turns sleeping with her on our chests. She just wouldn’t settle otherwise. We threw our books, theories, ideas out the window and simply met her need by holding her through the night.
Eventually she began to sleep fine in her own crib, so we were happy to leave her there to sleep. Then something changed a few months ago. Separation anxiety? Teething? Gas? I’ve racked my brain, but I just couldn’t figure out what was causing her wakefulness and crying in the night. I’ve only figured out what fixes it. We put her in our bed, right there in the middle of us, all the way through the night. She was automatically soothed.
A couple nights ago I cracked one eye open to see the three amigos had all chosen the same pjs. I giggled at our sea of white t-shirts. And as a mom I felt peace over our decision. I felt peace that it didn’t mean she would be in our bed forever, just for now while she needs it. I felt peace that I was finding MY WAY as a mom, just like every mom has to.
I can hear all the voices. “You are forming a bad habit.” “You’re putting the baby first” “She will need to learn on her own.” I’m not sure where these hypothetical critics come from, but I’m pretty sure every mother hears them somewhere in the back of her mind. But, this mama has resolved not to listen to them on this matter. I will go to my baby when she cries out in the night. I will put her in the bed if that soothes her. I will love her for who she is in the only way I know how.
This time is a gift. And these lessons (and broken rules) are shaping this mama and family. Let’s be honest, I kind of relish in broken rules anyway.
Much love, friend. Hope you are somewhere breaking silly rules too. ;)