11 May 2014


Hey Little Bear,

I am up at our hour again. Except this time I didn't fall back asleep in the 3 seconds it normally takes me. I'm just here. awake. and watching you in the baby monitor.
 I'm watching your tiny chest rise, fall, rise, fall. I've never before taken such interest in such small details as I do with you. Each breath is important to me. There are thousands of details I observe about you each day and they are all gifts, tiny gifts that make me happy or worried or thoughtful, and it is my happy job to observe all your details.  Sometimes they are everyday details that I go looking for like the way you say "mmmm" when you are hungry. Then there are the details that surprise me. Before I put you in your bed last night, you laid your head on my shoulder, then reached your chubby right hand down and wrapped it around my pointer finger. Yesterday you stood over a vent in a restaurant and your dress filled with air until it looked like you had a train of tulle packed under it. You looked down in amazement and blew right back at it. When you stood from sitting position the other day, your legs were crossed and you twisted up like a ballerina; it was a sight. Last night you walked ALL the way to the front door from the living room! Daddy told me that you belly laughed when he was smearing paint on your hands for my Mother's Day card.  These little moments and details about you make Mommy's heart so full. And it's not because you need me in them, even though that is an amazing gift too, but they are are precious because they involve you. And the smaller the detail, the more precious it is to me because I get to know someone like you, down to your very keen interest in your own belly button. All your tiny details are a gift to me. You are a gift. Your life is a gift.
The very thought of it is astounding.
This is the happiest of holidays. Thank you for all the gifts this Mother's Day and everyday.

Love, Mommy

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