Letters to M: Mr. Right

Dear little bean,

I guess you won’t be such a little bean when these words apply to the precious life you are living.  They aren’t much help to you in your easy breezy baby days, but I’m writing them to you now because the emotions are fresh and the lessons are remembered.  I recognize that you are your own little person; YOU ARE NOT ME.  So, this may apply to you someday or may not, but in an effort to always give you my very best, I offer you my experience, and the bits of wisdom found therein. 

I could weep just thinking about the day when I see that spark in your eye; the give-away that tells me someone has caught your heart.  And when the thought crosses my mind, I pray.  I pray he knows your value like your dad and I do, like God does.  I pray he knows Jesus and has had to find grace the hard way.  I pray he serves you and makes you laugh so hard it hurts.  I pray he sees into your heart, somehow, someway seeing the sweet baby girl that wants the simple things in life like being held and heard.

And for the part of the deal you decide, may I offer you what I’ve come to learn?

I encourage you to think of boys as friends, not potential boyfriends, husbands, gods etc.  People should be known, not idealized.  Start relationships with the intent to learn about the amazing makeup of another, and love will find you (instead of the other way around). 

Save your kisses as long as you can, and save sex for marriage.  This topic is so hard because now that I’m a mommy I recognize my new enemy, the world, and all the lies it will tell you.  It will tell you to get practice, try it out, get better. It will tell you sex is how you keep the one you want.  It will tell you that is how you show love. I will tell you the truth.  I will tell you that where your body goes, your heart will follow (willingly or not).  I will tell you that sex in marriage is a blessing and fulfilling and wonderful.  Wait. Wait. Wait.

Everyone makes mistakes.  We can’t grasp all the grace available for our downfalls.  Accept it when you make a mistake in relationships.  Offer it as it’s been given to you.

Decide early what characteristics you want in a mate, and don’t settle for anything less.  I’m not talking about hair color; I’m talking about the heart.  Notice how he treats others, especially his mama.  He will treat you that way in twenty years. 

Observe your daddy.  He opens doors for us, helps around the house, finds ways to excite our hearts to learn about God, and gives away his money/things when he sees someone is in need. He cuddles us when we need it and encourages us to DO good and not just DREAM good. Use him as an example of how you should be treated by other men. 

Know your worth. Boys will tell you you're beautiful.  They could say it a million times, and it wouldn't fill your heart as much as hearing it just once from your Creator.  Your worth is found in Him.   

Live yourlife.  Those around you might be meeting “the one” while you have to stand and wait.  Or maybe you’ll meet your sweetheart in elementary school. You might even decide you want to fly solo. Whatever the course, know that it was designed specifically for you and for your good. 

I hope these words offer you some guidance and grace as you embark on meeting the one God chooses for you.  I want to be all your answers, but I know that it’s inevitable that heartbreak will teach you some of them along the way. I wish I could see them all and erase them from your story, but God loves you more, and he withstands our sorrows because he knows they are for our good.  He loves you, so, lastly; trust Him and consult Him about all the matters of your heart.  

Love,  Mommy